So this is me today:
That's right. I am sad/bored/woebegone. Because all my friends are lame and stupid. They all either live too far away, are on exciting trips abroad, were more successful at attaining jobs than me, or just don't really give a damn. Either way, I've been sitting in the house for about two weeks now, searching for a reason to eat my own eye-balls, just so that I might have something the hell to do.
Thus, I have decided that selling myself is the only way. So here goes:
Young, dejected, 21 year old female seeks vibrant and interesting types to befriend her/ show her a good time. Sophie enjoys long walks on the beach, poetry, and water-painting. She likes dogs more than cats, and though somewhat socially awkward, Sophie is a valuable member of any friendship group, happy to assume the vital role of, 'the one who doesn't mind being laughed at'. All applicants please call: 0800-LONERSUNITE.